I just finished a pretty busy season recently, and took a journaling break. What I discovered was unexpected, but exactly what I needed to finally have closure. Here’s my story.
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Transcript
Hi everyone welcome to the Sabbath cafe podcast. I hope you’re doing well.
The last couple of months really felt like they flew by for me because since January I started helping out my parents. I helped them with some part time care-taking and I also drove them to their physical therapy appointments.
Also, my husband started a new job. And to make things work, we had to really make sure that we’re on a strict schedule so I can help with my parents and still make sure my family’s needs are met. And that turned out to be a lot of work for me. Thankfully, the therapy program finished recently and so my schedule is more flexible now.
And just reaching this milestone and seeing how my parent’s condition have improved, I was so encouraged. Now you’d think that this would mean my stress level would come down. But for some reason, my emotions were still wound up really tight. And so I realized that I probably need to sit down and unwind my thoughts. So one afternoon, I had some time, and I decided to journal.
And journaling is my go to tool to try and process my thoughts anytime I feel like I have a lot of emotions jumbled together or I feel like my thoughts are going way too fast and I’m not quite sure how to change or shift them… I would purposely spend some time journaling. All I’m doing is just to write out my internal thoughts on paper. And then, when I’m able to see what my real concerns and perhaps even uncover underlying fears, then I’m able to actually deal with these issues and move forward.
And what’s interesting was that as I was writing down my thoughts, I started to see how much of my heart and my thoughts still revolved around my parents and my caretaking role. I discovered that emotionally, I wasn’t quite ready to let go yet.
Actually, their recovery process is only about half finished. But, over and over again, I sense the Holy Spirit speaking to me that this is a good time for me to take a step back. And God reminded me about the things I’ve put on hold, and that includes my own family’s needs. And even though I am still helping out with my parents, it’s actually a good time for me to shift my focus back to my own life and continue down my path.
And I find myself asking… “But they’re still in the middle of this healing journey. If I let go, then who will help them?” And that’s when God reminded me about what things looked like back in January… and it was pretty difficult. And to see how far we’ve come, and how much things have improved. It just really hit me how faithful God has been through the whole process. He was the one who started us down this path of healing. He was the one who took care of my family, and answered my prayers. And that He will be faithful even in the next season. And it’s time now for me to let go of the responsibilities I took up in the last season, and to entrust my family to God so I can start my new season too.
After I had processed though these thoughts with God, I felt much more at Peace. Even though my family’s healing process is not finished yet, I feel much more ready to release them into God’s hands. In a sense, through this time of journaling and reflection, God was teaching me how to have closure. Even when my emotions may not be ready to let go, but when I took the time to reflect and think back on this last six months, and how faithful God has been. I was more ready to trust God with all of the questions I still had.
After I went though this exercise, it really helped with my attitude. I find myself having an easier time trusting God about my family, and becoming more excited to see what new things God has in store for me.
Often, we’d go through life changes without spending time to reflect on what happened before or to dialog with God about any questions we still have. Even if we move into the next season, these lingering thoughts may open doors to doubts or regrets in the future. I’m grateful that God didn’t ignore any of my concerns and He helped me work though them, so I can be at peace moving forward.
If there are any questions or thoughts from your past that often pop up, I would encourage you to not ignore those thoughts and to dialog with God about them. Maybe you can find closure and peace in those areas too.
And to help with that process, I’ve created a guided journal PDF. You can find the PDF and transcript for this podcast at www.sabbathcafeblog.com.
Thank you so much for listening and we’ll see you next time!
